A Post on Homesickness:

Hi everyone. Thanks for checking out our blog #OrmanAdventures. You know, over the past 4 years we have been through many ups and downs. It’s all part of the adventure we call life, right? I can honestly say that most of the time here has been full of joyful memories… but when the bad days come in, they come in HARD!

Homesickness is a very real thing I’ve had to deal with while living in Korea. It’s strange because I’m very close with my family and even though I love them to bits, I have NEVER been the type of person to feel homesick.

Whenever they’d drop me off at a friend’s house it was like, “okay, bye!!” and off into the house I’d go. I would go to sleepovers when I was little and sometimes girls would have to leave in the middle of the night because they were homesick. Huh?? I had no idea what that felt like.

Even when I left for college, 6-7 hours away from my family, I never felt homesick. I was too busy with excitement and enjoying life to the fullest.

Then came South Korea. Oh boy…

At first, I thought I would be fine. There is Skype nowadays and Facebook (which I’m extremely thankful for), but after a year of living here… I started to develop this very odd feeling. I wasn’t sure if it was mood swings, depression, maybe I was bi-polar… and then my husband mentioned the word “homesick.” I bursted into tears and I couldn’t believe how much truth was in that one word.

Before I left for my visit home a few weeks ago, I’d have days that would be going totally fine. Then, all of a sudden WHAM!!! Life threw a curve-ball and I’d start crying… then cry even more because I would start to think about how much I miss my family. Especially how much I miss the fact that I’m not home to build a strong relationship with my niece and nephew. There were times where Cory would do/say something so small and it would send me in a spiral of emotions, leaving me with a reaction that was far more dramatic than necessary. Luckily and thank GOD, my husband knows my heart. He knew it was never about the small argument… it was something greater. It was the fact that my batteries were running low from home.

I know my family isn’t perfect, and no family is for that matter, but when I am around them I am comfortable. I missed the simple things like sipping tea with my mom and, believe it or not, listening to all my dad’s corny jokes. There is just something about home that makes you feel whole again.

A few months ago, it came time for Cory and me to plan our summer vacation. We were set on going to Japan… and that’s when more mood swings rushed in. We hadn’t seen our families in a year and a half, and it was the most difficult thing to think about not seeing them for a longer amount of time. Cory really started to pick up on my feelings (he’s really good at that), and could sense that I wasn’t being myself. He brought up the idea of me going home for a visit and him staying in Korea; we simply could not afford two tickets. The thought of leaving him in Korea while I spent time with my family left me with an abundant amount of guilty feelings. He’s giving up his vacation for me?? But after carefully explaining his sincere thoughts on how much I needed to go home, and how much it would benefit our relationship, I knew he was right. He ended up buying the ticket for me because even though I knew it was the right thing to do, I just couldn’t believe he was selflessly letting me go home while he’d spend 2 very boring weeks in our apartment in Korea.

Anyway, it was time to go home and what a joy that was!!! I have so many special memories to give me that little boost when days get tough. I made sure to spend one on one time with my mom, dad, and sister. That was something I was highly looking forward to and now cherish. My favorite memory was when my niece, Leighann, ran out of the car and into my arms when she saw me! I was so nervous that she would be shy around me since I’d only met her once prior.  She was not shy at ALL. That little girl was my sidekick the entire time I was home. She just loved her “Chelle.” As well, I met my nephew, Sawyer, for the very first time!! When I held him, he gave me a little hug and my heart bursted! Singing him lullabies and having him fall asleep on me filled my heart to max capacity.

Overall, home was exactly what I needed. Now I am back in Korea and quite a few people have given me compliments, which is always nice. “You look so happy! Wow, you’re so beautiful. Your eyes are sparkling now! You have the sweetest smile” --- Those are a few from just this week alone. I feel like going home has given me that extra boost in my heart again. Through this experience, I’ve realized how much my family AND Cory’s family has supported our journey from the beginning. They are constantly cheering us on and saying how proud they are of us.

Walking around this small Korean town these past few days, I’ve felt a deeper appreciation for our time here. My greatest hope through this entire journey is to hopefully inspire someone else to step out of their comfort zone. With that, in order to inspire others, I feel it’s necessary to be real with one another since leaving your comfort zone isn’t always easy.

These are real feelings I’ve felt, and sometimes it’s hard for me to share since everyone thinks of me being a positive happy person ALL THE TIME. Quite honestly, it’s not a bad thing to be known for… but it’s just not true...all the time. I have difficult days too; very difficult. Just like everyone else.

If you’re reading this and haven’t spoken to your family or a good friend in a long time, I challenge you to call them or send them a message.  Also, every moment you have with your family… please don’t take it for granted: Pedicures with my mom, playing Frisbee with my dad, shopping and talking about life with my sister, speaking to my brother in law about community service, sharing giggles with my niece and nephew, and finally wrapping my arms around my husband when coming back to Korea are all memories I will hold onto forever.  

God is so good.

He has filled me up with joy.

My heart is full.

xoxo, Michelle